super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
