oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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