Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
