when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
