Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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