your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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