i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
