I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
