Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
