Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
