If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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