I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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