Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
