Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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