Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
