The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Terrible idea I love it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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