I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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