this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
