Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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