He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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