I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
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Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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