I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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