everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
