i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
