hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
are you so shy because you have an std?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
