But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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