tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
