I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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