I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
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This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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