what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
