mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
