Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
