spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
