if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
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I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
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Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?