Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I cuddled with a man named Pickles