I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.