i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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