No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
