I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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