I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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