so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
