Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
