Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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