i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
