Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
