maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
