STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
