I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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