so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
