Christians are straight up FREAKS
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
