I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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