I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I accidentally burped into my bong.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
