I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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