Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
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Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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