This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
