it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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