and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
