Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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