Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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