Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
