a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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